For a number of reasons my mind has wandered to the likelihood of me finding that "special someone" in my life. I've come to the conclusion that I will, in all honesty, probably NEVER find them, and here's why: I am the "middle man".
I use that term not in the sense that I'm always hooking up other people and never get one for myself. In fact, I don't think I've EVER been the matchmaker. I use that term in describing my personality in comparison to everyone elses. For one reason or another my personality is something COMPLETELY different from anyone I've met before in life. Whether due to my childhood or just they way I was destined to be, I have no idea, but I do know that it's true. The simple fact is I am a medium of basically every major personality type. Due to this I'm a good friend for almost everyone but not someone anybody REALLY wants to date. This is why I've felt like I have "JUST A FRIEND" stamped on my forehead my whole life. I have dated, and I've even had a few girlfriends, but they didn't work out. Why? Because I wasn't QUITE what they wanted. I was mostly, or partially what they wanted, but not entirely. The way I but it: I'm too good for the bad girls. Too bad for the good girls. Too calm for the crazy girls. Too crazy for the calm girls. Too sane for the insane...well, you see my point. Up to this point in my life I've loved being who I am. I was always able to be the mediator in a situation and honestly see it from both sides, but now it's just getting annoying. I'm not sure how to fix it or even if I CAN fix it. I know the people that may read this or even those who know me that won't read this would disagree if they saw it. "Devon, you're so great. You're such a good guy. Any girl would be lucky to have you." Yeah, any girl but them. They all say the same thing, and then none of them want me. I mean I'm grateful for the support and kindness, but let's all just face facts here. No matter how "good" or "great" someone may SAY I am, when even THEY don't want to date me, there's something not being said or confronted. I'm just writing this to say IT'S OKAY. I KNOW. We don't need to pretend anymore. I AM coming to terms with this whole "I'm gonna be alone forever" thing, and it's okay. Due to my personality I am a great friend just not a boyfriend. And that's just fine. :)
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
For the Sake of Danielle
I am posting this blog not so much because I have something of infinite wisdom or an earth shattering truth that the world must know, but more because it was asked of me...repeatedly. With that being said I really have no idea what I'm writing about, so I'm just gonna wing it. Good luck to the both of us.
Hmmm....you know what bugs me? When people TELL you that you won't like a movie, or even better that they heard someone ELSE didn't like it therefore I won't like it. That really gets annoying. If I want to see a movie, then just let me see it. Why do we have to debate who liked it and who didn't? And beyond that why do I care if they liked it? I have different tastes. Am I not allowed to have my own opinion of a movie? This is exactly why I never read reviews for a movie. Usually I can tell pretty well from the preview if I want to see the movie or not. Now that's not to say I haven't made mistakes and gone to a movie that ended up being a waste of time, but even THAT was fun in it's own right. Let me see what I want, and DON'T RUIN IT! If I WANT your opinion...I'll ask. Otherwise either come with me or keep it to yourself. I just find it to be such a bummer going to see a movie people told me so many bad things about. There have been many a movie that I honestly think I would have enjoyed so much more if people hadn't told me about it. But alas, this is neither here nor there. Just some simple ramblings.
VACATION:
I really need a vacation. I find myself waking up everyday wishing I could just open my eyes to somewhere different and exciting. I want to wake up with that excitement of knowing that I'm headed to a theme park that morning or the beach or some crazy, fun place. I can't even REMEMBER what the last vacation I went on was, but I need a new one...and a girl to take one with would be nice, but let's not get ahead of myself. Beggars can't be choosers. The really frustrating thing is that I honestly will probably not get a REAL vacation for like five to seven YEARS...ouch. But that's okay. Spending time here has it's perks. Such as becoming a police officer. That's pretty neato. Huh...welll. Guess that's all. I've got a lot more random junk in my head, but I'll save it for another day.
Hmmm....you know what bugs me? When people TELL you that you won't like a movie, or even better that they heard someone ELSE didn't like it therefore I won't like it. That really gets annoying. If I want to see a movie, then just let me see it. Why do we have to debate who liked it and who didn't? And beyond that why do I care if they liked it? I have different tastes. Am I not allowed to have my own opinion of a movie? This is exactly why I never read reviews for a movie. Usually I can tell pretty well from the preview if I want to see the movie or not. Now that's not to say I haven't made mistakes and gone to a movie that ended up being a waste of time, but even THAT was fun in it's own right. Let me see what I want, and DON'T RUIN IT! If I WANT your opinion...I'll ask. Otherwise either come with me or keep it to yourself. I just find it to be such a bummer going to see a movie people told me so many bad things about. There have been many a movie that I honestly think I would have enjoyed so much more if people hadn't told me about it. But alas, this is neither here nor there. Just some simple ramblings.
VACATION:
I really need a vacation. I find myself waking up everyday wishing I could just open my eyes to somewhere different and exciting. I want to wake up with that excitement of knowing that I'm headed to a theme park that morning or the beach or some crazy, fun place. I can't even REMEMBER what the last vacation I went on was, but I need a new one...and a girl to take one with would be nice, but let's not get ahead of myself. Beggars can't be choosers. The really frustrating thing is that I honestly will probably not get a REAL vacation for like five to seven YEARS...ouch. But that's okay. Spending time here has it's perks. Such as becoming a police officer. That's pretty neato. Huh...welll. Guess that's all. I've got a lot more random junk in my head, but I'll save it for another day.
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