For a number of reasons my mind has wandered to the likelihood of me finding that "special someone" in my life. I've come to the conclusion that I will, in all honesty, probably NEVER find them, and here's why: I am the "middle man".
I use that term not in the sense that I'm always hooking up other people and never get one for myself. In fact, I don't think I've EVER been the matchmaker. I use that term in describing my personality in comparison to everyone elses. For one reason or another my personality is something COMPLETELY different from anyone I've met before in life. Whether due to my childhood or just they way I was destined to be, I have no idea, but I do know that it's true. The simple fact is I am a medium of basically every major personality type. Due to this I'm a good friend for almost everyone but not someone anybody REALLY wants to date. This is why I've felt like I have "JUST A FRIEND" stamped on my forehead my whole life. I have dated, and I've even had a few girlfriends, but they didn't work out. Why? Because I wasn't QUITE what they wanted. I was mostly, or partially what they wanted, but not entirely. The way I but it: I'm too good for the bad girls. Too bad for the good girls. Too calm for the crazy girls. Too crazy for the calm girls. Too sane for the insane...well, you see my point. Up to this point in my life I've loved being who I am. I was always able to be the mediator in a situation and honestly see it from both sides, but now it's just getting annoying. I'm not sure how to fix it or even if I CAN fix it. I know the people that may read this or even those who know me that won't read this would disagree if they saw it. "Devon, you're so great. You're such a good guy. Any girl would be lucky to have you." Yeah, any girl but them. They all say the same thing, and then none of them want me. I mean I'm grateful for the support and kindness, but let's all just face facts here. No matter how "good" or "great" someone may SAY I am, when even THEY don't want to date me, there's something not being said or confronted. I'm just writing this to say IT'S OKAY. I KNOW. We don't need to pretend anymore. I AM coming to terms with this whole "I'm gonna be alone forever" thing, and it's okay. Due to my personality I am a great friend just not a boyfriend. And that's just fine. :)
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
For the Sake of Danielle
I am posting this blog not so much because I have something of infinite wisdom or an earth shattering truth that the world must know, but more because it was asked of me...repeatedly. With that being said I really have no idea what I'm writing about, so I'm just gonna wing it. Good luck to the both of us.
Hmmm....you know what bugs me? When people TELL you that you won't like a movie, or even better that they heard someone ELSE didn't like it therefore I won't like it. That really gets annoying. If I want to see a movie, then just let me see it. Why do we have to debate who liked it and who didn't? And beyond that why do I care if they liked it? I have different tastes. Am I not allowed to have my own opinion of a movie? This is exactly why I never read reviews for a movie. Usually I can tell pretty well from the preview if I want to see the movie or not. Now that's not to say I haven't made mistakes and gone to a movie that ended up being a waste of time, but even THAT was fun in it's own right. Let me see what I want, and DON'T RUIN IT! If I WANT your opinion...I'll ask. Otherwise either come with me or keep it to yourself. I just find it to be such a bummer going to see a movie people told me so many bad things about. There have been many a movie that I honestly think I would have enjoyed so much more if people hadn't told me about it. But alas, this is neither here nor there. Just some simple ramblings.
VACATION:
I really need a vacation. I find myself waking up everyday wishing I could just open my eyes to somewhere different and exciting. I want to wake up with that excitement of knowing that I'm headed to a theme park that morning or the beach or some crazy, fun place. I can't even REMEMBER what the last vacation I went on was, but I need a new one...and a girl to take one with would be nice, but let's not get ahead of myself. Beggars can't be choosers. The really frustrating thing is that I honestly will probably not get a REAL vacation for like five to seven YEARS...ouch. But that's okay. Spending time here has it's perks. Such as becoming a police officer. That's pretty neato. Huh...welll. Guess that's all. I've got a lot more random junk in my head, but I'll save it for another day.
Hmmm....you know what bugs me? When people TELL you that you won't like a movie, or even better that they heard someone ELSE didn't like it therefore I won't like it. That really gets annoying. If I want to see a movie, then just let me see it. Why do we have to debate who liked it and who didn't? And beyond that why do I care if they liked it? I have different tastes. Am I not allowed to have my own opinion of a movie? This is exactly why I never read reviews for a movie. Usually I can tell pretty well from the preview if I want to see the movie or not. Now that's not to say I haven't made mistakes and gone to a movie that ended up being a waste of time, but even THAT was fun in it's own right. Let me see what I want, and DON'T RUIN IT! If I WANT your opinion...I'll ask. Otherwise either come with me or keep it to yourself. I just find it to be such a bummer going to see a movie people told me so many bad things about. There have been many a movie that I honestly think I would have enjoyed so much more if people hadn't told me about it. But alas, this is neither here nor there. Just some simple ramblings.
VACATION:
I really need a vacation. I find myself waking up everyday wishing I could just open my eyes to somewhere different and exciting. I want to wake up with that excitement of knowing that I'm headed to a theme park that morning or the beach or some crazy, fun place. I can't even REMEMBER what the last vacation I went on was, but I need a new one...and a girl to take one with would be nice, but let's not get ahead of myself. Beggars can't be choosers. The really frustrating thing is that I honestly will probably not get a REAL vacation for like five to seven YEARS...ouch. But that's okay. Spending time here has it's perks. Such as becoming a police officer. That's pretty neato. Huh...welll. Guess that's all. I've got a lot more random junk in my head, but I'll save it for another day.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Random Crap
Why am I creating a blog? Well the same reason as anybody else out there I suppose...boredom. I can't say that I really have anything of worth to talk about in my life, but when has that ever stopped me from saying random crap that's on my mind. For anyone unfortunate enough to stumble onto this waste of internet space, first let me apologize, then let me warn you that you are unlikely to find anything of any sort of value located within these posts. Now that my guilt factor is taken care of I feel free to hone my jabbering skills. Let's begin with a topic that has recently been an issue in my life, and will most likely continue on until I'm a slobbering old man (no offense to any slobbering old men that may be reading), and that issue: RAP.
Rap is perhaps the single WORST thing to come out of modern society. I love music. I love it's subtleties, it's patterns, it's melody...everything. I play drums and guitar and I listen to music as often as possible. Rap, in my opinion, is busting a cap in music with a sideways-held gat. It has no melody. No quality. No message of any VALUE to our culture. It's simply an angry black (in some cases white or hispanic) male who wants to treat women like crap and make some money selling crack. Granted this is a generalization. I have heard a FEW rap "songs" (I use the term lightly in this case) that have a message of value that can speak to us as a people, but the majority of these ear-raping noises simply destroy anything they touch. What bothers me MOST is that they wrap this filth in what almost anyone who likes rap will tell you is "a good beat" and they sell it to the masses. Simply because they put a good beat and some rhythm into it qualifies it as something worth listening to? Might as well wrap a turd in christmas paper and put it under the tree. I'm not naive in thinking that I'm the first to say these things, and I hope I won't be the last, but I just can't help it. WHY DO WE NEED RAP?! ...ugh...okay. It's out of the system now. Thank you. Until next time.
Rap is perhaps the single WORST thing to come out of modern society. I love music. I love it's subtleties, it's patterns, it's melody...everything. I play drums and guitar and I listen to music as often as possible. Rap, in my opinion, is busting a cap in music with a sideways-held gat. It has no melody. No quality. No message of any VALUE to our culture. It's simply an angry black (in some cases white or hispanic) male who wants to treat women like crap and make some money selling crack. Granted this is a generalization. I have heard a FEW rap "songs" (I use the term lightly in this case) that have a message of value that can speak to us as a people, but the majority of these ear-raping noises simply destroy anything they touch. What bothers me MOST is that they wrap this filth in what almost anyone who likes rap will tell you is "a good beat" and they sell it to the masses. Simply because they put a good beat and some rhythm into it qualifies it as something worth listening to? Might as well wrap a turd in christmas paper and put it under the tree. I'm not naive in thinking that I'm the first to say these things, and I hope I won't be the last, but I just can't help it. WHY DO WE NEED RAP?! ...ugh...okay. It's out of the system now. Thank you. Until next time.
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